memeufacturing:

aries sign: AAAAAA *rips out fistful of hair* i fucking HATE DISHWASHERS!! THEYRE SO USELESS AAAAAA *sets car on fire*
cancer sign: please calm down i just want to read my Ernest Hemingway novel in peace :(
aries sign: AAAAAAAA *rips up stack of tax papers* FUCK ERNEST HEMINGPOOP ..!!!
cancer sign: *breaks down crying*

birdhouz:

planyt:

lilspirit:

coffeeshopjazz:

I don’t have the energy to be bitter

not me I only have energy for bitterness

being bitter energizes me

I don’t have the energy to be bitter: Capricorn, Taurus, Leo, Pisces
I only have energy for bitterness: Aries, Sagittarius, Cancer, Gemini
Being bitter energizes me: Virgo, Scorpio, Aquarius, Libra

The 'I think too much and make myself sad' squad

Signs as emo songs

social experiment……….

mybluediamond:

put ur sign and opinion of salt and vinegar chips in the tags

signs that say “daddy”

cloudstrology:

cancer, leo, libra, scorpio, capricorn, pisces

the signs as pineapple discourse

adhdlloyd:

good ppl who know not to put pineapple on pizza: cancer, virgo, scorpio, aquarius, leo, aries

heathens who like pineapple on pizza: capricorn, gemini, libra, taurus, sagittarius, pisces

astrolocherry:

less than helpful advice-

aries: “have some patience!” - why should they? aries live many lives in one, they are working off their time, not yours. if you want ‘patience’ go be a nurse at a hospital
taurus: “just try to forget it and move on” - taureans have, as my parents would say, ‘memories like elephants’. they can’t just forget and move on
gemini: “just be yourself!” - yah, but what self? the one i am right now or the one i was 10 minutes ago? what self am i??
cancer: “you’ll feel better if you come out” - no. they won’t. because they are feeling down they will soak up more negative feelings from other people and spend the whole time wishing they were at home in bed.
leo: “you don’t need anyone’s validation” telling a leo they don’t need appreciation is like telling someone they don’t need sunlight. just tell them you love them so they don’t have to ask first..then maybe they’ll stop asking
virgo: “can you just sit down for a second!?” …what and explode in every direction from an over eruption of nervous energy? they’re all ready round up like a wiry string and above everything else going on in their minds you want them to suppress their bodies?
libra: “there’s plenty of fish in the sea” so there is plenty of stinky fish and i can’t find one that wants me? what is wrong with me?! why is it hard for me to catch one then
scorpio: “it’s all in your head” well not validating their pain isn’t going to get them to open up. and no sadness or anger is ‘just in their heads’ it penetrates and emulsifies through their whole bodies
sagittarius: “well you didn’t have to say that!” what, you didn’t want the truth? why did you ask their opinion then? did you want them to lie to you? if your butt looks big in that dress, they consider it in your best interest you know the truth
capricorn: “just try not to worry” not only have capricorns imagined the best case scenario, they have already foreseen the worst. it gives them peace to have an emergency exit planned, unless you want them to be jumpy all day
aquarius: “oh come on, be realistic!” aquarians think forward, sideways, and backwards. if it could be thought, they have though it all. not only are they intimate with reality (fixed/saturn) they are intimate with alternative, other galactic realities (air/uranus)
pisces: “don’t be so easily offended” they probably aren’t offended, it probably hurt. and if it didn’t hurt them, it hurt somebody they are close to them. and that is even more painful
-C.

The “disappears for a while without warning” Squad

astrawrlogy:

Sagittarius, Scorpio, Aquarius, Virgo, Cancer

the signs as large vehicles

astrawrlogy:

Not clingy: Sagittarius, Taurus, Gemini, Aries

Low-key clingy: Scorpio, Capricorn, Aquarius, Virgo

High-key clingy: PISCES, Cancer, Libra, Leo

the signs when sad

tbhzodiac:

Aries: pushy, mean, slightly aggressive but all they want is a supportive hug
Taurus: impatient yet sensitive  so they isolate themselves, binges on anything in sight, comforting conversations and rants tend to cure it
Gemini: silent, keeps it a secret, nerves and overthinking, needs to lean on others but never admits it
Cancer: shuts off all communication with others, cries silently to self, snug blankets, long hugs and warm cups of tea help
Leo: brushes it off externally while it eats them up inside, music and a social event is sure to brighten their day
Virgo: overthinks everything making themselves feel worse, reading to try distract their mind
Libra: numb, bottles it all up, wallows in themselves, socializing with people who truly care
Scorpio: cries at night, stays away from people and parties, fresh air and the open road clears their mind to free their emotions
Sagittarius: takes it out on other people in the form of anger, knows exactly what to say to affect you, allow them to simmer and calm
Capricorn: lack of motivation, on edge and very tense, seems blank and emotionless, a good long bubble bath with a glass of wine will help them relax
Aquarius: untalkative and cold, quieter than usual, normally doesn’t want any attention when feeling this way
Pisces: feels every negative thought all at once, anxiety rules them, irritable, retreats into their own world, needs someone close to trust with their life to help

harsh advice for the signs

gothjunhyuk:

ihaveagoodblog:

astrololame:

ARIES: don’t jump on the band wagon so often. do your own damn reason and quit getting angry at things when it’s not your place

TAURUS: GET OVER IT. you’re so salty and it happened forever ago. give it up.

GEMINI: make up your fucking mind. no one else is going to make it for you, make a decision right now and be straight about it.

CANCER: honestly stop being so over dramatic. realize that the worlds not always falling apart around you hot damn stop wanting to be babied all the time.

LEO: quit being a bitch. simple as that. you dish it out, you get it back in return. either quit starting shit and being rude to everyone or realize that they’re going to be rude back and you deserve it.

VIRGO: own yourself like damn! quit going around acting like someone else and pick a damn personality.

LIBRA: people actually really don’t like it when you talk shit about them. surprise, i know. you’re not some “real bitch” or truth spreader, you’re being unnecessarily awful to people who don’t deserve it.

SCORPIO: you’re not a damn victim, quit acting like it and get a grip. you know what I’m talking about.

SAGITTARIUS: if you want adventure, get out there and get it! quit complaining that nothing ever happens when you never make anything happen

CAPRICORN: be real with people. stop sliding in and out of people’s lives like you’re good at it. you leave enough of an impact that it hurts when you keep coming and going.

AQUARIUS: people! have! feelings! you’re basically assuming that you’re some sort of god and no one else has troubles in life. get that “woe is me” mentality out of your head please.

PISCES: you get what you deserve, so work harder if you want something better go get it and stop whining.

this post is barbaric

lmao honestly like how hard did one person from each sign hurt the op

The signs as theological approaches to memes